Artur Akkerman

It's hard to be vulnerable with our partner when they hurt our feelings. Insult is an easy option because it protects us. But it also distances us from our partner. Here are some easy steps to follow on how to express your hurt without losing connection with them.

My couples often want to avoid conflict. I teach them to accept conflict as a normal process of their relationship. And I show them how to move through it together and connected.

Sharing our feelings can be very difficult and vulnerable for us. Depending on our upbringing and/or family of origin, we might have learned early on that no one cares about us. So, when we’re finally in a loving relationship and share our strong feelings, we expect our partner to treat us the way we were treated by the people from our past. We automatically begin to treat our partner as if they are someone else from our history, rather than a person who is actually in front of us.