How we talk to our partner about a difficult topic for 15 to 20 minutes can set the mood for a full day. A week. A month. Or even, the whole relationship. It can create a series of conversations full of blame and resentment that end up being sprinkled across the span of your relationship.

Grief is endless. And it doesn't have to be the only emotion occupying your heart. We can feel grief while experiencing other emotions.

I didn’t notice it at first. I went on with my busy days, weeks, months, as usual. Driven by my passion, excitement and laser-focused need to meet self-imposed deadlines. As if nothing has changed. And then this past week, cracks began to appear. Last week, when I usually would produce a weekly article for Substack followed by two Youtube videos addressing the same topic, I found myself struggling completing the second video and releasing it a day late. This week, I nev

Working with couples, I’ve discovered something that I rarely share in public. Hope sucks a$$!!! And not in a good way. We are all familiar with quotes, poems and memes promoting hope. Hope that focuses on what something could be if only we continue to believe in it or to pursue it. Whatever that IT might be. And I get it. Hope is important. Hope keeps us moving forward. What if Hope – actually – holds us back? What if it prevents us from reaching what we need and distrac

How To Start a Conversation That Will Upset Your Partner We all know this. We find their wet towels on top of the toilet every morning after they’ve finished showering. We open the dishwasher to place dirty dishes, only to find it full of clean dishes that they forgot to put away. We open the dryer to find wrinkly clothes that they’ve left from last weekend or worse, the weekend before. We step in dog poop in our own backyard because they failed to pick it up. We he

We Think We Know Infidelity...Until It Happens to Us! Cheating on your spouse or partner is such a common story arc in books, movies and shows, that there is a certain familiarity we all share about infidelity. Even if it hasn’t happened to us, we all feel like we know it on a deeper, guttural, almost cellular level. We all know it’s bad. The knowledge of it brings up strong feelings in us. We have an aversion to it. We are convinced in knowing how to avoid it. We are sur

Some Words You Can't Take Back! There I was. My heart beating fast into the silence that followed. The couple I’m with are both stunned. One of them said something that can’t be taken back. The words are still hanging in the air. We feel their heaviness. There is shock, pain, and regret all combined into a tornado that has swallowed us. I want to say many things. Words ready to spill out of my mouth. I want to say: “This is f&^&ed up!” I let myself breathe, expand my lungs, a

I was expecting many likes from last week’s article. Instead, I got a multitude of questions – in private messages, rather than in comments on my Substack or other social media – about feelings. How to recognize anger and sadness? How to differentiate between the two? And somewhere, between answering them, I realized that we aren’t really taught to pay attention to our feelings. I mean, we all know what feelings are. In theory. But do we really know them? We all experience

The yellowjacket travels lazily along the half-eaten rib. I’m surprised to see it this late in the evening. The sun has already set. Our party is over. A goodbye kiss from the last guest has already evaporated off my cheek. Alexa plays the music as if everyone is still here. The chill in the air makes me shudder, but I’m not ready to leave the deck. Inside the house, I hear running water as my husband begins to clean. I pull the hoodie close across my chest, against the rolli

It is a warm, sunny Saturday afternoon. Above the city, on a hill, hovers a bright pink triangle presiding over all of us. It can be seen from all the freeways that crisscross the concrete and hilly landscape that I call home. I am making my way to a local bar to meet my husband for a cocktail. I am almost there as I get swept up by a sea of red and laughter. It is both heartwarming and disorienting. I feel like Alice Through The Looking Glass! It takes me almost half a minut

I am writing this on Summer Solstice in Northern Hemisphere. A time when so many of us are scheduling our annual vacations. In a busy world full of deliverables, career demands, endless chores, we cherish our hard-earned two weeks off. We have booked a trip to another continent or maybe a cruise months ago. We have agonized over picking the right hotel, restaurants, activities and excursions to maximize every second of our vacation. To ensure that our two weeks off are a tr